the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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