then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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