just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
