so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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