i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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