bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
