I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
