i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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