What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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