this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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