I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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