they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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