Already got asked if we're dating
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
