it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
