I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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