i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
