Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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