Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
