Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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