bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
