I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
