Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
