You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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