i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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