"it" just moved
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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