I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize