dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
