Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize