no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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