grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
