she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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