wrigley field is MILF paradise
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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