You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She bit a glass in half.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
