Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
