I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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