You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
