he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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