my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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