I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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