i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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