On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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