at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
