Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
