Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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