i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
