Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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