halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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