I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
