Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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