Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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