When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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