do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize