Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize