You can't motorboat a personality
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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