I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
