I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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