May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
