yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
