Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
