your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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