Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
