can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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