Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
